Jornada 9: La Liga: The Most Beautiful League in the World

Yes, as you can see by my friend Chygs here: Dmytro Chygrynskiy, bought by Can Barsa in the unlikely event that fellow caveman defender Carles Puyol traveled down the crude-oil pipeway to Manchester City, it is has been another hairy week in La Liga.

Speculation was rampant coming into the Madrid game that the match against former-Quinta del Buitre supermodel Michel would be the last for il Professore Manuel Pellegrini. It very well looked it when Raul Albiol was given a straight red for helping the March Hare, Roberto Soldado, find his way down the rabbit-hole again, but Pipita Higuain (I love Argentinian nicknames don't you) secured the victory with two goals in the second half; one set-up by a great cross by moon-lighting left-back/left winger Marcelo, who played well, or as well as someone who can't tackle or defend can, and the other a goal created on the fly with a bit of cheeky flair by Karim Benzema. The Frenchman and the Argie played well together, an expected revelation since old-man Raul Madrid was too busy warming his tracksuit on the subs bench. The captain did come out of his stupor once, crawled down to the touchline, and started gesticulating wildly after the harsh red-card to Albiol. He looked very much the dapper, wanna-be Mourinho when he raced to the sideline. Was he auditioning for a role as player-coach? 2-0 to Los Blancos nontheless.

Meanwhile, back at La Masia, the crickets were chirping their timid lament. No home-game at the Nou Camp but they could hear the celebrating from far-off Pamplona. Osasuna had inexplicably drawn level with a late own-goal by everyone's favorite plodding man-servant Gerard Pique after Seydou Keita had scored again. Keita scores again? Unbelievable. Did he score at all last year? The first cricket, let's call him Guardiola, chirped that Osasuna hadn't so much as won one point, but that Barca had dropped two. His lil buddy Jiminy-Xavi was no better. He chirped that Barca hadn't really lost, that they'd actually won, but the score hadn't held up, that's all. Right, he's a laugh the little guy is. Wasn't that what he said when the blaugrana lost to that Russian guy Rubin Alakazam? 1-1 to the bull-chasers at Osasuna over "The Most Beautiful Team in the World."

Hay Liga though, and it is always good when the teams at the top are being pushed by each other especially when even the midtable teams are pushing also. Then there are the constants: Atletico Madrid lost again. Comically even. Some things just never change. Right Chygs?

Leia Mais…

The Next Coach At Real Madrid?

Now, I've gone on record that the best man for the job at Madrid is sitting on the bench as we speak. I've been there. I've known what it feels like when the boss wants you out and no matter what you do, the people around you make it increasingly difficult for you to continue. The zone of no-confidence hits. The one where the middle manager chimes in and says, "they have every confidence that he's is doing a good job", but in all actuality they have no confidence in you at all, and they're lining up your replacement.

Dead man walking, that's M. Pellegrini. He has two shots at retaining his company car, the office and the white track-suit. Beat Getafe in the league game and then draw level to Milan at the San Siro midweek. If the club fails, in either or both, the Chilean will take his 11 million euro buyout and walk. I believe the damage has already been done. Gijon was the bellweather, a note to the club that things aren't kosher, the beginnings of an idea to replace the manager, but Alcorcon was the coup-de-grace. Size up the benefits package, cause they'll be paying the buyout. So, the question is: who'll be the next manager at Madrid? Here's what the Madrid papers are saying, I'll put them in my own order thank you.

1. Roberto Mancini
2. Rafa Benitez
3. Michael Laudrup
4. Luiciano Spalletti
   
5. The rest (Luis Aragones, Juande Ramos, Marco van Basten, Victor Fernandez, Luis Felipe Scolari, and Roberto Donadoni

I think Roberto Mancini would be the best fit. He's won with big teams and small teams and he has experience in dealing with demanding ownership. Rafa Benitez has the credentials, especially in the Champions League, but everywhere he has been he's had run-ins with middle management and he won't do well with the expectations. It'll be Capello revisited. Laudrup is no big shakes over Pellegrini and the rest are muppets.

Leia Mais…

Another Day in Paradise?

Manuel Pellegrini should have known. He had it good in Villareal and even before then at River Plate. He won the 2002-2003 Apertura in Argentina with River. Management sells his best player Andres D'Alessandro and he leaves after year. To Villareal in the suburbs, the Valencian Community, the 10th largest city in that region, and a mere 65k hike from Valencia. One hour away from Rafa Benitez, the Tinkerman Claudio Ranieri, Quique Sanchez-Flores, Oscar Ruben-Fernandez, Ronald Koeman and Unai Emery. He outlasted all of them. On his own terms.

They played attractively, they were smart in defense, I mean they were the epitamy of a Cinderella story. They reached the semifinals in the UEFA Cup in 2003. They reached the quarterfinals the following year and finished third in La Liga behind Real Madrid. It was Champions League for them from there on out. There first year in? They beat Inter Milan over two legs in the quarter-finals and lost to Arsenal 1-0 on a failed penalty by Juan Roman Riquelme. Are you getting the picture? This guy doesn't have to defend his record. Madrid do.

This is the poisoned chalice. A club ruined by expectations, by the sheer lunacy of spending 200 bajillion euros on a cosmetic make-over; like getting a massive boob job without forking over for the requisite tummy-tuck (Guti), the ass-lift (Pepe), and a complete facial reconstruction (Raul). Did you get the hint? No, Real Madrid may be first choice for players with the ambition of a 100 million euro contract, but for managers it is a completely different story.

Let them bring in Spalletti, or Rafa Benitez, or whichever other top manager comes into the picture. They will fail as Pellegrini failed. There is a reason why Arsene Wenger refused the opportunity to manage Madrid. Madrid are in bad need of a complete over-haul. You laugh. You say they've already paid for it, but I say they spackled a new paint job on a decayed structure. There is some unfinished business left at hand. There are former first teamers, players who were on the way out at the Bernabeu, who because of injury, and a rotational policy that valued the next match in La Liga and an away tie at the San Siro over a first leg tie to a third tier club in the Copa del Rey, were forced to play in that humiliating defeat to Alcorcon, well these players aren't necessarily the best water-carriers, the best Pavones, and they should be culled from the heap. They are the reason why the team of the last decade lost to a club in the third tier of Spanish Football not once, but twice in two years.

Fire Pellegrini? You'd only be freeing him for another team with a better organizational structure. No, keep Pellegrini and start cutting some excess, remove the cliques and the aging prima-donnas. Cut the heart out of Madrid or it will continue to break yours.

Leia Mais…

Copa del Rey: Alcorcon 4-0 Real Madrid

I could pile on when the club is down, and usually I don't spare the rod when ridiculing what has happened to a bloated, over-hyped monstrosity like the Super-Galactic Fortress Real Madrid (by the way from now I shall be referring to them according to this their Japanese anime name), but you have to feel sorry for them. Don't you?

I realize that glamor signings Kaka and fake-Ronaldo were out. Benzema and Xabi Alonso have been out. You would think that it wouldn't mean much if you were facing a third tier side like Alcorcon, with an operating budget 1/400th of yours, against cast-offs and neer-do-wells, in the meaningless first leg on your opponents' 4,500 seater home stadium, even if you were starting your subs. These are players who are already in the same division as your youth team Real Madrid Castilla. It might even be acceptable to lose in a one-goal shocker, but to lose like this: a "goleada" as they say, a 4-0 embarrassment.

I realize that it is a "derby match" as some websites were calling it, as I guess Alcorcon is a suburb in the megalopolis that is Greater-Madrid, but come off it. It is the ultimate in all embarrassments (as As and Marca are calling it) but this isn't Manuel Pellegrini's fault so don't be looking for scapegoats that way. The blame should fall squarely on the heads of Raul, Guti and all the other spurned divas who were forced out at the beginning of the year when the Super-Galactic Fortress Real Madrid launched.

Leia Mais…

The Best Player in the World: Robinho?

Stop laughing people. The little guy has been through a lot. He's an excellent player, one of the few pieces of flair a troglodyte like Dunga has allowed in his Office Space, I mean he was even supposed to be the next Pele? Squint your eyes a little. Smoosh your cheeks in. Tilt your head and then twirl a bit until you're dizzy and then maybe you might have mistaken him for O Rei, maybe. Sure, he says he played for Santos and maybe you have the pictures of the kid winning a couple of Brazilian titles along with that other wunder-midget Diego, but I still say it's a conspiracy of chance. 

I know what you're saying, we should go easy on him as he was a victim of  circumstance. His mother was abducted. No, not in spaceship, in the trunk her own Mercedes while getting a barbecue ready, spending 41 days in captivity then released only after her son paid the $83,000. Her first request after being released? "Get me some coffee and a cigarette." It was obvious that he needed to leave Brazil. He was afraid for himself and his family. His club Santos weren't going to sell him, especially to Real Madrid, without at least a few more offers on the table to drive up the price of the transfer, but the player had other ideas. His agent said it had always been his dream to play for Madrid. He did not want to be loaned to another club. Eventually the deal went through, but not after threats by the club, acrimonious dealings with fellow players and coaches, and the fans suffering through performances by a player who clearly had his mind elsewhere.

So, it shouldn't come as any surprise that everywhere he's been to date, he has called press-conferences saying how happy he is to have signed for (Madrid or Manchester), then been forced to deal with questions about his inconsistent form and his off-the-field shenanigans (flying to Brazil for parties, showing up drunk to training, etc.), and then further on to have fallen out of favor with management (Capello, Schuster and Hughes), only for the want-away talk to start up all over again.  You hear him whisper to journalists, away from the cameras.


It should have been Chelsea he says. I would have been happier there. No, no, Barcelona are the club of my dreams, there I would finally meet my destiny: the best player in the world.

I'm not buying it and neither should you. The kid is talented. He's a first choice forward on the Brazilian national team (while party-mate Ronaldinho isn't) so he should at least be given the opportunity but his chances are running out. He isn't the young phenom he was at Santos. His hard partying ways are going to catch up to him and his lack of dedication off the pitch will continue to alienate him in England. If he thinks it will be easier at Barcelona, then I'd like to see that actually. Guardiola won't stand for a second Ronaldinho revisited. As for best player in the world? He isn't even in the top 10.

Leia Mais…

Team of the Week: Barcelona

I was going to start this new feature on the La Liga Team of the Week by writing on Saturday night with the improbable 4-0 win by La Pulcela in Valladolid over Somewhat Super Depor but I'm glad I waited. FC Barcelona's 6-1 demolishing of Real Zaragoza at the Camp Nou was expected but not to this extent. The blaugrana were reeling midweek from losing to some Russian guy named Rubin Kazan (sounds like a clown-and-magic act doesn't it?) and they had struggled to recapture last year's form. Could they continue playing like they did last year or would they adapt. What is clear now is that Pep's quest to extend their game away from playing pretty circles on the ground is almost complete. Examine the goals.

The first and the sixth came off headers by Seydou Keita, who gives them steel in the midfield and an aerial presence in the box from corners and set pieces. The second? Pure class from Ibra, a powerful free kick from distance that didn't curl, bend or break, but practically tore the arms off of goalkeeper Carrizzo. Sure some of the Barcelona magic returned for the next two goals; one a classic break that Keita scored from a precise Ibra pass and the in next they reversed roles, Keita on the wing hitting Ibrahimovic on a short cross for a patented kung-fu ricochet shot.

Despite chipping in the 5th goal, Messi was not sharp and clubs should obviously be worried, not that the Argentine will stay in his post-Ballon D'or year doldrums (He hasn't won it yet I know, but do we think anyone else will?), but that when he wakes this Barcelona might just be a better team even than last year.

Leia Mais…

A Dull Day in Spain?

Look around the fixture list for yesterday's games and you'll find a lot of "dull draws" in three games in the eighth round of of play and a total of 2 goals all around. The first reaction is to say, "What's going on in Spain?" or more specifically, "What is wrong with the top teams in the league?" Real Madrid struggled in Asturias against an inspired Sporting de Gijon who deserved the point nonetheless in this 0-0 draw. Sevilla couldn't get a shot through the Carlos Kameni's wickets in their own 0-0 draw and with new coach Quique Sanchez-Flores's watching from the stands, Atletico Madrid added their own 1-1 draw to the mix.

You would think that all these games had similar challenges, similar strengths as they're played in Spain by chance, but you'd be wrong. Let's look at the Real Madrid game. Madrid had one first team striker on board, Raul was healthy, but compatriots Karim Benzema, Gonzalo Higuian and Ruud Van Nistelrooy weren't, but more importantly they started the game with two defensive midfielders (M. Diarra and Xabi Alonso) covering for the defensive failings of Marcelo and Ramos. It was an obvious rout if everyone had been healthy, but they weren't so the Gijonese were on more than equal terms with the Galactico Army. Espanyol against Sevilla were on a different setting however. Sevilla were clearly the better team in the game. Espanyol were missing Raul Tamudo due to a contract dispute (again) and Ivan de la Pena from an injury knock (again), but for those people that believe the best defensive teams in the world lie elsewhere than Spain right now are deluding themselves. Not only do Spanish teams play defense, their goalkeeping is impressive, as we saw here by Carlos Kameni.

As for Atletico Madrid? There's no reason or excuse why Atletico Madrid, after clearly dominating the game, missing one penalty before hitting on another, self-destructed at the death of the match, other than that they are Atleti are the problem is obviously mental and always has been mental.

Leia Mais…